Reading The Love Tank as an Adult - The Five Love Languages
In a previous post, I mentioned that I would like to write a post about "Reading 'The Love Tank' as an adult," specifying the different messages that one can take away from reading the book as an adult and how to help our children internalize some of these messages. As I sat down to write this post, I realized there is too much information to fit into a single post. Additionally, I would like to start introducing some resources that you all may find as useful as I have. So, I thought I would break it up and begin by writing this post about the Five Love Languages.
I want to draw your attention to the pages in "The Love Tank" that depict our protagonists engaging in activities to fill both others' and their own love tanks. I thought it would be useful to discuss these pages in light of the book "The Five Love Languages," by Gary Chapman, which I actually stumbled upon after writing "The Love Tank"; when I did a quick Google search to ensure there were no other books by the name "The Love Tank," "The Five Love Languages" popped up because it also mentions the concept of an emotional tank or a love tank. Although "The Five Love Languages" primarily discusses couples' relationships, there is another book by the same author (with co-author Ross Campbell) that explores "The 5 Love Languages of Children." I recently read this book, and here are some key takeaways for me.
What Are the Five Love Languages?
"The Five Love Languages" introduces the concept of and provides various examples of the five love languages. Essentially, each of us understands and expresses love in different ways. I want to provide an overview of each love language, offering examples from my book "The Love Tank," as I believe this could be a great opportunity for discussion with your children.
I will refer you to two specific pages in "The Love Tank," the first one starting with "Now, imagine a special superpower container" and the following page starting with "Because giving love to others does not deplete your love tank."
Physical Touch: Once again, as you observe "The Love Tank," notice our girl hugging her mom or petting the kitty, and our boy kissing and hugging his grandpa. They express love through physical contact.
Receiving Gifts: In "The Love Tank," we see the girl giving a wrapped gift to the boy, and on the next page, the boy presents a flower to his mom. The purpose of these gifts is not to be extravagant or expensive but to convey that you are thinking of others with small and meaningful tokens.
Acts of Service: Performing acts of service for others is another way to show love. For example, in "The Love Tank," the girl brings a cup of tea to her grandmother in bed, while the boy waters the plants.
Quality Time: Spending quality time with our loved ones is a way to express love. In "The Love Tank," you can observe how, in one of the drawings, the boy and the girl are reading a book together. This, to me, is an example of this love language.
Words of Affirmation: Using affectionate words is also a means of expressing love. Although not explicitly depicted in "The Love Tank," we can imagine, for instance, the loving words the girl uses while petting her cat or the kind and affectionate words that our characters often exchange.
We All Have Different Predominant Love Languages
"The Five Love Languages" explains that each of us has one or a few predominant love languages, and we feel most loved when people express love to us in our primary love languages.
For instance, my main love language is probably Physical Contact. I adore hugs, kisses, and cuddles, and I am fortunate that my daughter Olivia does, too (Teo is still too young for me to discern). However, another one of Olivia's strong love languages is gift-giving. She consistently brings me flowers, drawings, and surprises from school, for instance. This love language is definitely not my forte.
To make Olivia feel my love in its entirety, I have to make an extra effort not only to express love in my love language (physical contact) but also to surprise her with small gifts (nothing extravagant or costly) that let her know I have been thinking of her. Consequently, I sometimes create little notes or prepare tasty treats (shaped as hearts or flowers) as a way to convey love in her language.
Learning to Recognize Others' Love Languages
I believe it's imperative for all of us to pay attention to others' predominant love languages and strive to express love in ways they can comprehend. What's great about the book "The Five Love Languages of Children" is that it offers guidance for identifying our children's love languages and tips on how to learn to communicate in those languages.
Another significant takeaway is learning that we should aim to teach our children to use all the different love languages, enabling them to interact with others in their lives effectively. Proficiency in expressing love in all these diverse ways is a testament to their well-roundedness.
Final Thoughts
The book also, as I mentioned, introduces the concept of the emotional tank (the love tank) that can be filled with unconditional love (regardless of what a child does or does not do, they are still loved). I will delve more deeply into this concept in a future post since there are many books and resources available that I would love to share with you, which provide depth to this concept.
I hope this information proves helpful to you. If you feel inclined, please leave a comment below. What do you believe is your primary love language? What are your children's primary love languages? How can you endeavor to meet their needs?